Daphne Wiswell knew something was off when minor inconveniences in life—such as a flat tire—were giving her physical symptoms such as shakiness and the sense that a panic attack could happen at any moment.
Ms. Wiswell’s intuition was right that her body was out of balance. Most of her experience in understanding the human body, however, came from two decades of caring for various family members, including a daughter with multiple autoimmune forms of arthritis and her mother-in-law and mother on a short-term basis before each one passed away. It also included her son who was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 2, a disease that leaves many parents in a constant state of hypervigilance. Ms. Wisell is also healing from her own autoimmune diseases.
She decided to monitor her blood sugar and quickly uncovered wildly fluctuating insulin levels that might explain her nutrition deficiencies, mood swings, weight gain, and brain fog.
“My brain was so tired, I couldn’t even do basic things. I was so worn out from years of caregiving,” she told The Epoch Times. “It was crazy the [insulin] swings I was having throughout the day. I was having memory problems, concentration problems, and mood swings. I started working on balancing my blood sugar, and all of that got better.”
Caregiving’s Brain–Body Connection
Caregiver responsibilities can lead to far more than physical exhaustion. The demands can create a tug on emotional, mental, and physical health and compound the burdens they put on their bodies.At least 40 percent of caregivers display symptoms of depression, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance, and those who take care of someone with emotional or mental health problems are more likely to report a decline in their own health. About 40 percent of those caring for someone with dementia suffer from depression, more than double the rate in their peers who aren’t caregiving.
Be a STAR When Demands Increase
A longtime caregiver for her son and her mother, Ms. Schlosser said the holidays can feel dark for caregivers as the days grow shorter and pressure to “do it all” for the holidays zaps energy.As her mom’s health declined, she asked herself what she wanted to invest in that would outlast her caregiver days. The answer was less shopping and more simplicity—to hold her mother’s hand and reminisce about past Christmases and sing familiar songs.
STAR is the acrostic she developed to remind caregivers they can shine like a star by choosing what is life-giving, bringing light and energy to their days and relationships. STAR stands for:
The High Stakes of Caregiving
Loretta Veney, an author who travels the world as a keynote speaker and trainer for caregivers, told The Epoch Times that caregivers must slow down enough to process one thing at a time. This is especially true when a loved one first gets a diagnosis and the shock and information overload can be most overwhelming.“You never get an expiration date when you become a caregiver. If you don’t pace yourself, you could really end up in a bad way,” she said.
She said she still remembers one day when she had to take a break during a work presentation to fix her slides that she had put in the wrong order. At the time, Ms. Veney was working for the U.S. Transportation Security Administration and hadn’t slept well a few nights in a row because she was worrying about her sister, who was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and their mother, who had recently been diagnosed with dementia.
Over the years, Ms. Veney lost her sister and her husband. Her mom also kept fleeing the senior living community where she lived. The unknown brought with it a great burden of anxiety, and it would take days for her nervous system to rebound.
“You feel like you worked out too much. Everything kind of hurts,” she said. “Your bones hurt.”
Ms. Veney recommends that caregivers take time to recover after particularly stressful events. For her, that meant building things with Lego, which she’s adored since childhood and used as a type of therapy with her mom and now with older adults the world over.
Brain Recovery Is Possible
It’s important for caregivers to optimize their own brain function all year long, according to Brandon Crawford, a functional neurologist, who’s currently writing a book that includes strategies for caregivers.“They have trauma, too. They have brain injuries, too,” he told The Epoch Times. “They are suffering quite a bit.”
- Improve mental focus with eye exercises. Take time to intentionally focus on something close and something far away, alternating for five or 10 minutes. Training visual focus can enhance cognitive focus, he said.
- Get adequate fatty acids, which can be found in cold-water fatty fish such as salmon and sardines, and in seeds such as chia and flax seeds. Fatty acids help inhibit neuronal cell death.
- Try meditation and breathing exercises to enhance cognition and focus.
- Get outside for both light exposure and brain stimulation.
- Get adequate sleep. Sleep is when the brain processes trauma.
Doing What Matters Most
Ms. Wiswell—who has overcome Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks—sought health coaching certifications to open her business The Chronic Illness Coach. Yet she still considers it a blessing to put her life on pause to be a caregiver—so much so that she moved in with her pregnant sister and her three children in February to help care for them when her sister could no longer walk because of a knee injury. She’s still there, four hours from her husband, and sleeping with the 2-year-old and infant so her sister can heal.“Caregiving teaches you a lot,” Ms. Wiswell said. “It’s very hard to see someone you love in so much pain. It helps me put a lot of things in perspective. It reminds you life is really precious, and we only get to live it one time.”
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