The desire to live fully is natural, and there’s nothing wrong with that—it’s an innate part of being human. We long for friendship, love, competence, security, and even adventure. Without these desires, we might lack the motivation to pursue a fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us.
However, our souls suffer when we excessively desire something that others possess. This feeling, known as envy, takes a normal human impulse and, like a cancer, causes it to grow far beyond its normal proportions.
As envy intensifies, it displaces happiness in our lives—not just momentary pleasure or daily satisfaction, but also the sense of meaning and purpose that we attach to our lives. In all of these ways, envy erodes happiness and offers nothing in return.
9 Ways Envy Thwarts Happiness
Envy, as you can see, is a significant issue. It’s crucial to drive this point home and paint a more vivid picture in your mind. I’ve outlined nine ways that envy severs our connection to happiness. May they serve as encouragement to root out the weed of envy at the moment you notice it taking root in your heart.1. Distorts Perception of Reality
Envious people do not see the world as it truly is. What they desire looms large in their minds, causing various downstream complications. For instance, one might snap at someone for sharing good news, misinterpreting it as boasting.2. Lowers Estimation of Your Own Worth
At the heart of envy is the comparison between your life and someone else’s life that you desire. Spending too much time in this state of mind will eventually lead you to see yourself as lesser than others, viewing them as better or more important because they have achieved what you want.3. Resentment Toward Others
Recognizing that others have what you desire does not foster respect or admiration. If the person is someone you know, their presence might feel threatening, serving as a constant reminder of what you cannot achieve.4. Chronic Dissatisfaction With Your Life
Focusing on what you lack seldom leaves room to appreciate what you have. Normally, we might admire something, plan to attain it, then continue enjoying life. However, excessive desire blinds us, overshadowing everything but the pursuit.5. Loss of Focus on What Matters
Envy disproportionately magnifies the object’s worth, leading it to become a missing piece of your identity. This state can cause you to lose focus on what is truly important, as obsession with this one desire crowds out all else.6. Withdrawal From Relationships
When you intensely desire something, you might view those around you as mere means to an end, rather than valuing relationships for their own sake. This inward turn can leave you indifferent to others’ goals and solely focused on your own plans.7. Wasted Time and Mental Effort
Envy leads to endless cycles of rumination, obsessing about the objects of your envy rather than enjoying each day as it comes. Your best energies are consumed by schemes to attain your desires.8. Lack of Gratitude for Life’s Simple Pleasures
If envy is the easiest way to ruin your happiness, gratitude is its antidote. Grateful people amplify their joy through appreciation of even small blessings. However, gratitude and envy are incompatible—like oil and water, they cannot coexist.9. Shame and Self-Neglect
If you fail to attain your desires, you might blame others or yourself. In the case of the latter, you may neglect your own well-being, feeling unworthy of care until you reach a certain milestone.Happiness or Envy? The Choice Is Yours
Philosophers have been warning against envy for thousands of years. However, for the more science-minded readers, a 2009 research article in the Interamerican Journal of Psychology also showed that individuals with higher self-reported levels of envy were less likely to be satisfied with their lives and more likely to report feelings of low energy and unhappiness.When philosophy, science, and common-sense morality all agree, wisdom dictates that we take their conclusions seriously. There is nothing to gain from envy and everything to lose. Be vigilant when you cross the line from simply wanting something good, to being unable to enjoy life without it, to resenting others for possessing what you desire and becoming fixated on acquiring it yourself.
Happiness, it turns out, aligns well with minimalist philosophy, which grows stronger through subtraction rather than addition. By removing envy—the excessive desire for what others possess—you’re likely to experience increasing contentment with your own life. This simple observation can be easily verified through personal experience. If joy, meaning, and happiness are what you seek in life, then there is no place for envy.
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