How I Tamed My Phone Habit (With the DETOX Method)

A woman looks at social networking applications on her cellphone in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on March 22, 2018. Manan Vatsyayana/AFP via Getty Images

Many of us have wasted more time scrolling on our phones than we’d like to admit.

Smartphone addiction has become a widespread problem with real-world effects that range from wasted time and neglected work to strained relationships and poor mental health.

While we can all marvel at the conveniences and benefits of technology, the endless flood of entertainment at our fingertips has proven to be an irresistible temptation for some.

I know because I too once found it hard to unglue myself from my phone and can relate to the complex emotions this problem stirs up.

Thankfully, I’ve made real progress in this area and want to share some of what I’ve learned in the hopes of helping you too.

4 Reasons Your Phone Is So Alluring

What makes our smartphones so irresistible? Having a basic understanding of what you’re up against is an important step in designing ways to fight back.

Here are four of the most powerful explanations for our phone’s hold over us.

1. The Pull of Notifications

The pings and red dots of notifications on our smartphones are cunningly designed to grab our attention and evoke a sense of urgency. They make it hard to focus on anything else because they constantly remind us of the “unfinished business” we have elsewhere.

2. The Fear of Missing Out

We scroll endlessly on our phones because consuming this content feels good to us. Whether it’s the latest news, updates from our friends, or entertainment—our phone is a portal that supplies what we want, when we want it. No wonder we feel a strong fear that we’re missing out on something important when that flow gets cut off.

3. A Temporary Cure for Boredom

Let’s face it, many adults (I’m guilty at times) use their phone as the equivalent of a child’s pacifier. We reach for it when we’re bored, uncertain, and even scared. This provides a temporary fix by way of distraction but ultimately only pushes the problem down the road for another time. Rarely do we come back from a session on our phones more ready to tackle a boring task.

4. A Lack of Clear Boundaries

For the reasons mentioned above, smartphone use tends to fill the little pockets of time in our lives. When we don’t have boundaries that restrict when we reach for our devices, the convenience and instant gratification they offer end up becoming a temporary bandage that we apply to all of life’s problems.

The DETOX Method to Curb Phone Use

Reducing phone use is like weeding a garden. In order to have a garden that is healthy and produces good fruit, you need to clear away the weeds that compete for water, nutrients, and sunlight.

It’s the same with our lives. If we want to make space for meaningful activities and flourishing relationships, we need to prune away the “weeds” that steal our attention. The more time we spend on our phones, the less time we have to invest in personal growth.

The D.E.T.O.X. method is a simple way to approach the problem of cutting back on your smartphone usage. Let me share more about how each part works:

D: Define Your Goals

Why are you trying to cut back on your phone usage? What do you hope this looks like? These are important questions to answer upfront because they will become an important source of motivation when you face temptation to bend your own rules. The more clear and specific you can be, the better.

E: Establish Your Rules

My two biggest pieces of advice are to 1) keep your rules simple and 2) keep them reasonable. Every time I’ve ever tried to go “cold turkey” with my phone, it has ended up not working out (but maybe it will work for you). Instead, I’ve found that if I start making progress in cutting back, I naturally feel more motivated to waste less time scrolling.

My rules have varied a bit over time, but they generally revolve around limiting my phone usage to a certain number of minutes a day, and not until I’ve completed all of my other daily goals.

T: Track Your Progress

It feels much easier to cut corners and eventually fall off the wagon if you aren’t tracking yourself. For me, digital trackers tend to get lost in the shuffle of everyday life, so I like to use a well-designed paper tracker and put it somewhere prominent. This also gives me the distinct satisfaction of filling in my square at the end of each successful day.

O: Optimize Your Environment

There are many aspects of shaping your environment to encourage less time on your phone, but for me, there are just a handful that have helped the most:

• Turn off all but the most essential notifications.
• Keep only important apps on your phone.
• Track your progress visually in a prominent location (as mentioned above).
• Keep your phone in another room when not in use (ironically, getting a smartwatch has actually made this easier because I still get phone calls and texts, but nothing else).

X: Explore Alternative Hobbies

This last point shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you are successful in following the steps above, you’ll inevitably have more time on your hands. But how are you planning to use it?

Of course, you’ll want to be more productive, but my recommendation is to find an activity that is beneficial but still enjoyable to you. You don’t just want to be running from a bad habit toward a new one. Over time, as you make progress and build your focus muscles, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to build on your momentum.