The Moment That Ruins Our Focus

Throughout our days, we have sometimes nearly imperceptible and at other times strong feelings of anxiety. With practice, we can learn to ride them out.

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I challenge you to a test.

Open an email that has been sitting in your inbox but that you’ve been avoiding responding to or acting on. Pick the hardest one. Read the email, then act on it.

Notice if there’s a moment when you want to get as far away from that email as possible. What does that moment feel like?

‘Those Moments’

Those moments of feeling overwhelmed and anxious often pass without notice. They happen multiple times throughout the day (possibly dozens) and determine the actions that we take or don’t take. But we rarely notice them—we just try to get away from whatever is triggering the feeling.

Such moments can ruin our focus and open the door to procrastination and avoidance. They are the moments that ruin our best habits and intentions.

Those moments invite feelings that we don’t want to feel. We often spend time trying to avoid those feelings. Sometimes, it feels too hard to feel.

We might have set up a large part of our lives to avoid feeling overwhelmed and anxious. For example, if you have that feeling when you talk in front of a group, you might have set up your life so you never have to talk in front of a group. If socializing with strangers gives you that feeling, you might have arranged your life so you don’t have to mingle. If you get that feeling when you share your creative work with others, you might have a life in which you keep your creations to yourself.

You get the picture.

Master ‘Those’ Feelings

If you’d like to avoid those feelings, create amazing focus, and cultivate the ability to face your work head-on, read on.

1. Let yourself feel the feeling. With ongoing awareness, you’ll get much better at it, and the feeling becomes less of a big deal.

Notice when the moment comes—that feeling of being overwhelmed that you want to escape. It may arise from a difficult or scary task; an upcoming event, meeting, or trip; a difficult conversation or a frustrating person; or an email or message that you don’t want to read. Just try to catch the moment when it’s happening.

2. Pause when you notice the feeling. Just sit for a few seconds. Slow and deepen your breath. Let yourself calm down for a minute, and just be with the feeling. Give it your full attention for a few seconds.

3. If the feeling’s too intense, get up and walk around. Shake it off. Distract yourself. Then, you might try to sit with it again—just for a few seconds. Do that two or three times if you feel up to it—no need to push yourself too far.

When you practice this several times a day, you’ll get better at it. Soon, you’ll be able to stay with the feeling for 15 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute. You’ll grow your capacity to be with this moment.

Then, everything becomes possible.