Having values and plans for a good life is essential, but being able to go with the flow when life has plans of its own brings a certain peace.
There’s an expression in racing: Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. The point is that trying too hard often produces a subpar performance. The same can be said about life more broadly—don’t cling to anything fleeting, temporary, or outside your control.
Of course, we ought to stand firm and hold tightly to our beliefs. We should not be quick to throw away our values, friendships, or personal resolutions. Doing so would be giving in to whatever whim currently holds the most sway over us.
But we should also approach our lives with a bit more grace. Instead of latching on to something and never letting go, appreciate its blessing for the season you’re in. Instead of hoping a situation or circumstance never changes, learn to ride the waves of whatever life brings your way and look for the best. Stop trying to bend the world to your will. Instead, try to conform your expectations to what is before you as much as possible.
How you apply this advice will depend on who you are and what you’re doing. Some people may need to loosen up, while others may need to take life more seriously. Some people may need to go faster, while others need to slow down. It’s up to each one of us to determine our current weaknesses.
For those like myself, who are inclined to hold on too tightly, here are some benefits to loosening your grip on life, rather than trying to control what you ultimately cannot.
1. Make Space
In a relationship, when one partner becomes overbearing or comes on too strong, we might say they’re “suffocating” the other person. Even the best things in life need room to breathe. It’s possible to take something great and ruin it by smothering it. Conversely, we can experience greater joy in our relationships and many other parts of life by giving them just the right amount of space for the sunlight to get in and allow them to grow.2. Be Grateful Now
As humans, we have the amazing ability to think about our past and ponder our future, but this gift can also distract from the simple pleasure of enjoying the moment. Obsessing over our plans, our circumstances, or even our present relationships can be a way of worrying about the future. Instead, try to appreciate all the goodness you have right now and cultivate those good things while being open to the natural evolution of life.3. Share Freely
Grasping tightly to our possessions can prevent us from sharing with others. Live with open generosity instead of being possessive, protective, and worried about losing something. Share the abundance that is already ours.4. Let Things Be
We all have a mental playbook for how we’d like our life to go—a steady, comfortable upward trajectory with no major obstacles to what we want. As we all know, though, stuff happens every day that is outside our control and won’t always align with our idealized vision of life. Those who accept change and let go of their desire for perfection are best positioned to find peace with the life they have.5. Be Resilient
If you hold tightly to the life you know, it will be hard to accept anything that threatens to change it. The unknowns and uncertainties will cause you anxiety because you’ll be more focused on what you’re losing than on what you could gain. When you open your mind to new possibilities and even surprises, you become more accepting of changes when they do happen.6. Focus on Your Purpose
When you loosen your hold on all that is temporary, fleeting, and impermanent, you open your eyes to the bigger picture. Many may realize that love of God and love of your neighbor is all that really matters.
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