The Benefits of Talking to Strangers

Recent global events mixed with the magnetism of distraction cellphones provide have caused less face-to-face connection than ever before.

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If you spend much time in public places, you’ll likely notice fewer conversations between strangers. Most people are glued to their smartphones, wearing earbuds, or programmed by society to mind their own business.

The longer this continues, the stranger it feels to interrupt others who are probably absorbed in digital activities. Rather than risk awkwardness, most of us will resort to staying quiet.

COVID-19 accelerated this development, at least from the anecdotal evidence I have in my small town in the northeast United States. During the peak of COVID-19, I noticed it became common for people walking toward each other on the sidewalks to split up and have one person move to the opposite side of the street. Whether or not this was needed when outdoors, it somehow became seen as the polite thing to do.

Fast forward five years, and I’ve observed that people are still doing this! Not just on one occasion, but regularly, I’ll see someone on the sidewalk way up ahead, and then a minute later, notice that person walks past me on the other side of the road.

We’re going out of our way to avoid strangers, and I don’t think this is a healthy trend. We are weakening many small but vital connections, and as a society, we could end up paying a steep price down the road.

Why Talk to Strangers?

Talking to strangers can be fun in its own right (after you get over your initial butterflies) and comes with a host of benefits that I’d like to remind you of.

1. Cultivates Social Trust

Suspicion and distrust thrive in the unknown. It’s easier to gossip about a neighbor or rush to judgment about a neighbor when you’ve never had a conversation with that person. But imagine if you’ve seen your neighbor’s humanity up close—excitement about a child coming to town for the holidays or worry about a relative’s health. You’d be much more likely to give that person the benefit of the doubt.

Social trust is an important marker of a healthy society—a web of hundreds of ties interlaced with the strangers around us.

2. Perks Up Your Mood

From talking with friends, I know I’m not the only one who feels my spirits lift after a positive interaction with a stranger. Anything from a shared laugh in the checkout line to a home service tech who surprises me with a patient explanation could brighten my day.

Even these small, friendly encounters with strangers leave us feeling warm because we are social creatures—we need each other and generally like to get along. On the flip side, even a simple gesture that costs you nothing can go a long way to brighten someone’s day.

3. Reinforces Self-Confidence

The more we retreat from public social spaces, the less confident we become in social interactions. That’s no small loss. Without this confidence, we’re even less likely to strike up conversations that might lead to business opportunities, lifelong friendships, and even the possibility of meeting our future spouse.

The good news is that talking with strangers creates a positive feedback loop. It will feel good to connect, and you’ll realize how simple these conversations can be. The more frequently you engage, the easier it becomes. Before you know it, your self-confidence spills into other areas of life, making you even more magnetic.

4. Teaches Open-Mindedness

It’s easy to end up with a one-sided view of the world when you only hang out with people like you. Worldviews that differ from yours can seem scary when you’ve never encountered them before or attached them to a face you recognize.

One of the unique things about talking to strangers is that you don’t know what they believe. Depending on the context of where you meet, they likely have a background or set of experiences that varies from your own. You may come to like them before you learn of significant differences between you, which might soften your otherwise preconceived hostile thoughts toward them.

5. Expands Your Network of Potential Friends

Most adults I know would say it’s hard to make new friends. However, they don’t put themselves out there very much and tend to play it safe socially by sticking around the people they know.

What if you said hello to that person who’s always at the gym when you are? You never know when one of those casual conversations will take off and open up the possibility of friendship. It probably won’t happen the first time you talk to a stranger, but that’s why you make it a habit and generously spread that small talk around.