What Makes the Practice of Minimalism Hard

There are many temptations outside the path of minimalism. It is by letting go of certain desires that we progress.

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Perhaps you’ve seen the beautiful, clutter-free homes and read about the wide-open schedules of successful minimalists. Such ideals inspire change in our lives and are a helpful north star in guiding us toward simpler ways of living.

But the practice of minimalism has been, for me and my family, a bit more chaotic and a good deal harder to achieve than the ideals suggest.

Don’t get me wrong, minimalism has benefited my life since I first became interested in the subject in college. It’s helped me to push back against the strong forces of consumerism, distraction, and discontentment that I see as pervading modern life. Simple living has helped me to clear away much mental and physical clutter to make room for the things I value most—like family, faith, and creative pursuits.

It’s just that the practice of minimalism, in the context of having a large family, is quite challenging. While minimalism makes life easy in many ways, it makes it harder in others. Minimalism isn’t just a respite from a busy world, it’s a gauntlet thrown down against a much easier path.

Of course, I’ve come to see these challenges as necessary for a flourishing life. For anyone interested in minimalism, it’s worth walking into the lifestyle with clear-eyed realism about what it takes and how it might be difficult.

I hope these examples don’t scare you away but rather open your mind to how minimalism is a counter-cultural pursuit.

1. Fear of Missing Out on Interesting Ideas or Experiences 

Because of my high desire for novelty, I always want to try out new ideas or paths to take. This pushes hard against my desire to live simply and keep focused on my current goals, but I think the overall effect is a healthy tension between those two forces, which I value.

I have to admit, though, that sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on a great idea, and it makes the practice of minimalism feel confining. I try to remind myself that minimalism doesn’t just mean less—it means making space for what’s most important—I just have to know what that is.

2. A Desire to Feel Like I’m Making Progress

In many ways, minimalism is a philosophy of contentment. It pushes you to be satisfied with less instead of grasping for more. This goes for everything from money and accolades to possessions and comforts. Minimalism says to figure out what’s enough and stop there.

But a competing desire in me is a desire for progress. I like to see my blog audience and bank account grow larger, and my life gets easier. My default, if I’m not actively focused on my own definitions of success, is to return to these easy benchmarks for progress.

3. Pressure to Provide My Kids With the Same Opportunities as Others

When you’re a parent, it’s natural to want to give your kids everything you can—especially when it comes to opportunities. When I see my friends busy taking their kids to sports practice and music recitals and filling all their evenings with activity, I sometimes wonder if I’m failing my kids by not offering them the same.

My wife and I choose to have a larger family but not to prioritize activities outside the home. We encourage them to play with each other, neighbors, and the many people we invite into our home. It’s a tradeoff we’ve thought about deeply, but it still can be a challenge in practice.

4. Wanting the Same Comforts and Luxuries as Those Around Me

No matter how far we’ve progressed in our development, it seems that comparison is right there beside us. We might change who or what aspects of life we compare ourselves to, but we’re always comparing.

When we visit our friends in their homes, it’s natural to appreciate some luxuries they might enjoy that we don’t. I suppose it’s natural to wish for those yourself. Unfortunately, despite years of practicing simplicity, this can still grow into a disproportionately large desire and rob me of joy for what I already have. I hope to continue to grow in this area for years to come.

5. Wanting the Status That Comes With Wealth 

Minimalism is hard because we all crave status. In this modern world, status is bestowed upon those with the most money, power, or sex appeal. My wife and I have chosen a path to minimize those desires and replace them with greater ones—the love of God, family, friends, and the satisfaction of work and personal growth.

Sometimes, those loves can lead to more wealth and status, but often, they mean investing our time and energy differently than others. It is true that, at times, I want both—to be a minimalist and a high-status person. The reality is that those two things are often in conflict, and I find great happiness in my life just the way it is. Reminding myself of these truths is just part of living intentionally, and it’s a challenge I gladly take on.