5 Mental Scripts That Lead to Flourishing

A change in how we think can influence our achievements.
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One of the most exciting aspects of personal growth is that we can unlock vast potential by changing how we think.

I can’t easily make myself smarter, physically gifted, or better looking—but changing my mind’s inner dialogue is well within my grasp, and that alone can lead to amazing positive changes in my life.

In my freshman year of high school, the thought of running a mile was like imagining myself not eating for an entire day. While I knew it was possible, it sounded grossly uncomfortable and was not something I’d choose to do.

A year later, though, I found myself on the cross-country team running miles each day. After another year, I was jogging up to 10 miles at a time, and running had become an integral part of my identity.

If that’s not a lesson in the power of our minds to hold us back or propel us forward, I don’t know what is.

Sure, I probably never had the talent to be an Olympic runner—that kind of outcome requires a truly special gift. But most of us aren’t aiming for elite-level performance in our lives. We’re trying to be happy and satisfied and kind—and most of all we want to see progress in the areas that matter to us.

If that sounds similar to what you want for yourself, then I  encourage you to spend more time thinking about your mental scripts and less time worrying about the talent you may or may not have.

5 Scripts for Cultivating Positive Change

‘I Can Do Hard Things’

Believing you can stick with a difficult task and that it won’t be overwhelming is a powerful psychological advantage. Some people think they can do hard things, but they don’t really have any evidence in mind, and so they’re only believing in a generality.
For this to work, you have to have a particular experience of achievement in mind and remind yourself that you’ve done it once and you can do it again. The more often you accomplish hard things, the more effective this script will become.

‘I’ll Get Started Today’

For much of my life, I’ve been the “I’ll get started tomorrow” kind of guy. Though just a beat away from “I’ll get started today,” it’s enough to send you down a path of never-ending tomorrows. In my experience, tomorrow never arrives, because when you say tomorrow, you can always push it back just one more tomorrow.
One of the more shocking personal discoveries I’ve made is how long I can push back doing things without ever realizing my own self-deception. The best counterattack is to start today and make that your life’s mantra.

‘I Don’t Have to Be Perfect’

Often times when I feel stuck in life, it’s because I’m endlessly looping options in my mind. These choices almost always are relatively minor and indistinguishable without more information—yet my desire for a perfect plan keeps me from making a firm decision.
Knowing you don’t have to be perfect is freeing. Not that it’s OK to be wrong, although that’s true, too. What I mean is that a “good enough” plan with great execution is far better than a “perfect” plan that never materializes.

‘I’ll Focus on What I Can Control’

We can slow ourselves down by wasting time and energy on aspects of life outside our influence. Sure, these are often important pieces that will impact our future, but since we can’t actually change anything, we’re far better off focusing on the areas where our efforts can make a difference.
Focusing on what you can control is the antidote to a life filled with worry and anxiety. Narrow your focus to new actions you can take each day and notice how much more clarity you have.

‘I Can Strike Up a Conversation With Anyone’

One of my more controversial opinions is that shy people should try to be more outgoing. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being introverted, it’s just that so many of life’s greatest pleasures are wrapped up in relationships. Those relationships are far more accessible to people willing to put themselves out there.

The best group to start with is the people you’re already familiar with but haven’t talked to much—neighbors, coworkers, and extended relatives who are in your orbit, but not quite friends yet. Realizing you can talk to anyone is a superpower I believe anyone can cultivate. At first, it might feel a little awkward, but that will quickly fade away with practice.

Mike Donghia
Mike Donghia
Author
Mike Donghia and his wife, Mollie, blog at This Evergreen Home where they share their experience with living simply, intentionally, and relationally in this modern world. You can follow along by subscribing to their twice-weekly newsletter.
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