| “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
That’s the opening line in Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina.” It’s an eye-catcher, but one wonders if he’d write those words if he were living in 21st-century America. Distinctions marking unhappy families may still apply, but more and more of those families share one thing in common: Estrangement.
This phenomenon—siblings breaking all contact with siblings, adult children turning their backs on parents and grandparents, or vice versa—is growing, and growing fast. A 2025 YouGov poll found that 38 percent of American adults are estranged from at least one family member. North Carolina writer and therapist Paula Rinehart wrote that “about 1 in 4 adult kids has reportedly gone ‘no contact’ with a parent.”
Columnist Mirinda Kossoff shares the heart-wrenching story of her estrangement from her two middle-aged sons, who apparently sided with their father during a divorce many years earlier. Psychologist and writer Andrea Gurney notes that, in her practice and all around the country, “A growing cultural phenomenon known as ‘going no contact,’ in which an individual severs ties with a family member, has become increasingly common.”
These same commentators and others identify a multitude of causes for this trend. Physical and mental abuse craters some relationships. With divorce, a child who identifies more closely with a mom or dad may cut off the other completely when reaching adulthood.
Additional toxins are now poisoning family relationships. A major shift in American culture, emphasizing individual happiness and fulfillment over family obligations, has created tensions that finally snap.
Some critics point as well to helicopter parenting as a cause, the widespread practice of closely monitoring and guiding children that was rare 50 years ago, which consequently drives some young adults to rebellion and going no contact.
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